The Tangent Series
Episode 1
Speak Here NOT There
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Unspoken Lessons
I can see my pop clearly—one hand on each hip, worn slippers pressing firmly into the soft,
beigey-hued carpet. His hair, thick with shiny strands, would have made the editors of
Chatelaine magazine swoon. And those glasses—Tom Ford had nothing on my pop. His shirt
collar reversed to hide the razor-stubble-shredded side—only us insiders would know about.
“My, my, my,” he’d say. And my nan usually followed in sync with, “Oh, oh, oh,” as if they were
finishing each other’s thoughts. Mostly, I think, the mumble was more of a sighing question
without the accusational tone. But I could hear it loud enough between the commas: “Does she
ever stop talking? Will she ever stop talking?”
It went over my head back then, like a plane taking off. But now, the memory is wrapped in
warm nostalgia. Sometimes, I got the “my missy” even when I was silent. I’m convinced now
that back then, my pop could see all my thoughts playing out like music notes above my head,
swinging back and forth with the glider that somehow never hit the wall behind it, even when
you thought it would. It was a safe space. They could have silenced me with a belittling word, a
condescending tone, or worse—a straight-up door in my face.
As a woman now, I’m all too familiar with those belittling words, that harsh condescending tone
putting me in my "rightful" place—and the door in my face? Well, it just slams me further ahead
every time it swings, the breeze swooshing by. That’s what stubbornness is, right? It’s when the
space to be how you were created uses the dirt thrown on you as a platform. That’s what my
pop did for me—he subdued me just enough to encourage gentle introspection, but not enough
to put out my fire. I can see that clearly now.
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My Daughter’s Idea
Let me start by saying, “This was my daughter’s idea!” I chuckled when she suggested it. This
kid gets me—the heart of me. But I don’t think I would have kicked off this series with a topic so
controversial. Even I thought I knew better than that. Apparently not. Then again, why put it off?
It’s not like it’s going anywhere. And it’s certainly not like my stance on it will sway what has
been solidified by pride on the opposing side.
If you know anything about me, you know I’m always up for a good banter. I might not take the
last word, but I’ll definitely leave with the last thought—one that lingers long after the
conversation has ended. That’s how I took my pop’s “My, my, mys” and gave them space to fill
in the blanks.
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Guesswork
In The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, Galadriel says, “What cannot be known hollows
the mind—fill it not with guesswork.” Guesswork. Isn’t that what we all do? Doesn’t it make us
feel “better than”—as if we hold a seat at the table we deem others unfit to occupy?
Who taught us that? What superiority complex gave birth to that idea, gave it legs and feet to
stand on? Is it biblical? Did God do that?
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Scriptural Foundation
Genesis 1:27 (NIV) says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he
created them; male and female he created them.”
And Paul affirms in Galatians 3:28 (NIV): “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor
free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Then there’s Matthew 28:19-20 (NIV), the Great Commission: “Therefore go and make disciples
of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always,
to the very end of the age.”
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Speak here NOT there
But then I hear, “Speak here, not there.”
Speak here, where only women, children, and those deemed less important are confined. Not
there, where the deepest voice is the loudest, where strength is measured by muscle. Not there,
where justice hides under the cloak of agendas we pretend not to see.
Speak here—among our own kind. But not there, where the “real” people are. Not there, where
disciples are made. That space, apparently, is reserved for those Jesus addressed in the Great
Commission. Clearly, we’ve misunderstood that call, filling hollow minds with guesswork.
Yes, I know. Do you?
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Faithful Women
I have to credit Beth Moore for birthing this tangent. I had withheld from reading others' works
while I was writing my own. I didn’t want anyone else’s stories creeping into my words, my grief,
my suffering. I wanted it to be purely mine. But now that my work is complete, I’m inhaling other
people’s writings like I used to inhale carbs from the trunk of my car after a six-month
abstinence for a bodybuilding competition. I’m reading several books at once, listening to others
simultaneously, and let me tell you—I’m in a carb overload and spilling at the seams, enjoying
every last morsel.
It was chapter twenty of Beth's All My Knotted Up Life that really woke up the Mama Bear in me.
Her story is, sadly, not the first I’ve heard. And it won’t be the last. Different names, different
situations—same belittlements, shunning, “how dare you’s.” I’ve often wondered how God feels
about His daughters being treated that way. You know, those daughters He’s called to be His
messengers. Those daughters He’s gifted to touch the hearts of the very people He came to
save.
Imagine a whole half of God’s children barred from reaching the hearts of others with—wait for
it—the voice God gave them. All because some of the other half—those presenting themselves
as leaders—deem that space unsharable. And they’re not responding with my pop’s gentle “My,
my, my.”
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Two Christian Perspectives on Women in Leadership
The role of women in teaching and leadership is a topic of ongoing debate among various
Christian traditions. Some hold that Paul’s writings restrict these roles to contexts involving only
women and children, while others argue that the broader context of Scripture supports women
in more expansive leadership roles, including over men.
In Christian definitions, the roles of women are often understood in two main ways, depending
on the theological perspective.
Egalitarianism:
The belief that men and women are equal in worth and can hold the same roles in church
leadership and ministry without restriction based on gender.
Complementarianism:
The belief that men and women are equal in worth but have different, complementary roles, with
certain leadership positions (like pastor or elder) reserved for men.
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Confusion
Is there Biblical context to support that women are encouraged to speak, teach, preach, and
lead only women and children, and not men? Or are women simply commanded to remain
silent?
This leads to my next inquiry—if God’s word is spoken by a woman who has been commanded
to remain silent—does that automatically make it “false teaching”? Or is it considered false only
if men are present? If the same message is shared in the context of Women’s Ministry or
Sunday School, does it suddenly become God’s true spoken word?
Which is it? It can’t be both.
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The Interpretation of Limiting Women
The interpretation of limiting the responsibilities of women is often based on 1 Timothy 2:12
(NIV), which is part of a letter Paul wrote to Timothy, a young pastor leading the church in
Ephesus. The letter addresses pastoral care, church leadership, and the issue of false teaching.
Another passage frequently cited in support of this view is 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, part of Paul’s
letter to the church in Corinth:
"Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in
submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own
husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
This passage was written to address specific issues related to worship, spiritual gifts, and
disruptive behavior during church services. However, for the sake of simplicity, I will focus on 1
Timothy 2:12, as the passage in 1 Corinthians holds less strength as an argument given the
cultural context of the time and its specific audience.
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1 Timothy 2:12
1 Timothy 2:12 reads:
"I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet."
This verse, written by Paul, has been interpreted by some as limiting women's roles in teaching
and leadership over men, while allowing them to lead women and children. However, this
specific restriction is not directly stated. Instead, Paul simply says, “she must be quiet.” If we
consider the context, could this directive have been a response to specific issues within the
Ephesian church, rather than a universal mandate for all times and places?
One could reasonably assume from this verse that women are to remain entirely silent, but if
that were the case, why would God have given them the ability to speak? If women are indeed
scripturally forbidden from teaching, preaching, or leading, then how do we reconcile this with
the examples of women in Scripture who did exactly that?
Would this interpretation not imply that women who are depicted in Scripture as leaders and
teachers—such as Deborah, Priscilla, and Phoebe—were acting contrary to God’s will? And if
these roles were inaccurately depicted, would that not call into question the accuracy of
Scripture itself?
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Exploring Context
To explore how 1 Timothy 2:12 is interpreted in light of women’s roles in ministry, we should
consider how the broader biblical context (such as in Romans 16), directly relates to the
significance of interpreting 1 Timothy 2:12.
In order to do this, I find it only fitting to highlight several prominent Biblical women who played
significant leadership roles in ministry, teaching, and spiritual guidance, despite cultural norms
or restrictions of their time.
Note: To avoid any confusion, nowhere in my writing or inquiries am I referring to speaking out
against false prophets or teachings that contradict the truth of the gospel.
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Priscilla’s Role in the Early Church
Priscilla, alongside her husband Aquila, is known for teaching Apollos, a highly educated man,
about "the way of God more accurately." This suggests she played an active role in teaching
theology and clarifying doctrinal truths.
As referenced below in Acts 18:1-3, Paul met Priscilla and Aquila in Corinth, and they became
co-laborers in ministry. Paul also lived and ministered with them for some time. They traveled
together and were instrumental in helping Paul establish and support early Christian
communities.
Acts 18:1-3 (NIV):
"After this, Paul left Athens and went to Corinth. There he met a Jew named Aquila, a native of
Pontus, who had recently come from Italy with his wife Priscilla, because Claudius had ordered
all Jews to leave Rome. Paul went to see them, and because he was a tentmaker as they were,
he stayed and worked with them."
In Romans 16:3-4, Paul personally greets Priscilla and Aquila, saying:
“Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not
only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them.”
This shows how deeply Paul valued Priscilla’s ministry alongside Aquila, calling them co-
workers in spreading the gospel. Again – this is the same Paul that is often referenced as
quieting women in 1 Timothy 2:12.
Cultural Significance— In a time where women were not typically formal teachers, Priscilla’s role
in instructing Apollos, a man, reflects her significant influence in the early church. Her inclusion
alongside Aquila indicates that she was seen as a capable and knowledgeable leader in
spiritual matters.
Acts 18:26 - "He (Apollos) began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila
heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more
adequately."
Given that Paul worked closely with Priscilla and Aquila and even entrusted them with
significant ministry responsibilities, it’s clear that Paul did not universally discredit women in
ministry. On the contrary, he praised and supported Priscilla’s active role in teaching, ministry,
and leadership.
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Deborah’s Role as a Prophetess and Judge
Deborah—Role as a Prophetess. A prophetess was someone who received direct revelation
from God and communicated His will to the people. Deborah was one such woman who acted
as God's spokesperson in a time when Israel was facing national crisis.
Role as a Judge—Deborah was also a judge, which in that era meant she held a position of
political, spiritual, and military leadership over Israel (I’m assuming this would also have
included men and no where throughout scripture does it omit them in this context). She made
judicial decisions, resolved disputes, and even led Israel into battle against their enemies.
Cultural Significance—In a male-dominated society, Deborah's leadership role was remarkable.
She held authority over both men and women, and her position as a judge demonstrated that
God called her to lead and deliver Israel without any restriction based on gender.
Judges 4:4-5 - "Now Deborah, a prophet, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time.
She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of
Ephraim, and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided."
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Phoebe’s Role as a Deacon
Phoebe—Role as a Deacon. Phoebe is referred to as a deacon or servant (diakonos) of the
church in Cenchreae. The term "deacon" at that time referred to a recognized church leader
responsible for serving the community, ministering to the congregation, and helping with both
the practical and spiritual needs of the church.
Cultural Significance—Phoebe’s role indicates that she was a respected leader in her local
church. Interestingly, this is the same Paul who, in 1 Timothy 2:12, said that he did not permit a
woman to exercise authority over a man. Yet here, in Romans 16:1-2, Paul entrusts Phoebe
with the important task of delivering his letter to the Romans. Why would he assign such an
important responsibility to a woman, especially one who, according to some interpretations of 1
Timothy 2:12, would seemingly be included among those he "quieted"? This seems a bit
precarious, doesn’t it?
Paul’s commendation of Phoebe is clear:
"I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. I ask you to receive
her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you,
for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me."
Wow—Paul himself acknowledges that he has personally benefited from Phoebe’s ministry,
stating, "including me." Additionally, he refers to her as both a sister and a deacon of the church,
recognizing her significant leadership role in the early Christian community.
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The Role of Biblical Leaders
So, what defines a Biblical leader? If we are looking to Scripture, a biblical perspective is written
in Mark 10:43-45 (NIV), where Jesus speaks to His disciples about leadership through service:
"Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be
served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
This passage emphasizes that true leadership is rooted in humility, selflessness, and service to
others, which is a defining quality of Christian leadership. It suggests that leaders are called to
serve those they lead, rather than seeking power or personal gain.
Similarly, Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) aligns with the character expected of leaders. It reads, "Do not
let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others
up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Slander, gossip, and harmful speech are contrary to this calling, as they tear down rather than
build up. Leaders are expected to speak in ways that promote growth, respect, and unity.
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Faithful Women
This leads me back to Beth Moore and her story, as well as other stories I've read referencing
faithful women of God who have committed their lives to making “disciples of men” (excuse the
pun!)
I am actually not led here in full by the controversy over whether women should or should not
play active roles in Christian teaching, preaching, or leadership. Although, each side can argue
the other given what stanch they choose to take.
What compels me more strongly is the behavior of those proclaiming leadership who engage in
mean-spirited attacks and character assassination—attacks that, unsurprisingly, seem aimed at
God’s daughters serving Him on a public platform.
To respect someone as a leader, you must first respect them as a person (or, as
complementarianism might define, "as a man"). However, it can be argued that to truly respect
someone as an individual, you must recognize Christ in them. It's a simple flow of honor.
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Reflection on Leadership
John 8:7 (NIV) reads, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."
Although not in direct relation to the current subject at hand, this verse emphasizes the
importance of self-reflection and humility before passing judgment on others.
As a woman, I want to say the arena of Christianity often does not feel "safe." Actually, if I’m
truly honest, the arena of simply being "female" often does not feel safe. Am I alone in this? It
would seem not...
And, if this is true, both for myself and others, do those called as leaders hold the responsibility
of reflecting Christ, as He has directed in Galatians 5:13-14:
"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge
the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this
one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
If leadership is rooted in serving others with love and humility, shouldn’t the responsibility to
create a safe environment be even more pressing? Where, then, is the accountability for
reflecting Christ in how women are treated from some members of this platform?
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Consequences for Leaders
And, on a question I dare not fully explore right now: Are the consequences harsher for leaders
who publicly attack God’s daughters—or even their fellow brothers and sisters? This is
something I have given deep thought.
For now, I’ll reference, James 3:1 (NIV) which reads, "Not many of you should become
teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more
strictly."
Teaching is not strictly based on what you know—but on how well your students understand and
apply it. This is how the true gospel transforms into making disciples of all nations.
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Affirmation
Let me affirm, I am most certainly NOT anti-men. Quite the opposite. I cannot fathom a world
without them, and we’re not meant to. God created us that way—in a way that only together, we
create life. We are equal but different. But that’s not what this post is about. That’s a whole other
subject. God created both males and females in His image. How could I possibly announce my
love for Christ while simultaneously denouncing my love for His sons? And with such smugness
I might add.
The high calling of men in a Christian context is to live lives that reflect Christ’s love, humility
and integrity. It involves leadership through servanthood, not unlike the call of Christian women.
This post was sparked by a reminder of how often God’s daughters are forced to sit in a space
of belittlement because of some of God’s sons. It goes deeper than sibling rivalry. That “spat”
gets displayed on a worldwide platform, and those on the outside are popping their popcorn,
settling in for the show. I wonder—what genre do we classify this show under? Drama comes to
mind.
The world is watching.
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His Word
Scripture isn’t guesswork. God’s directives remove the guesswork. It’s rooted in His Word, in the
creation of both men and women equally in His image. It’s supported by the actions of early
Christian women who boldly stepped into leadership roles. And it’s confirmed by Jesus’ call in
the Great Commission to go and make disciples of all nations—without limitation by gender,
race, or status.
In the bigger story, does whether or not women speak truly determine eternity with Christ? Is
this a salvation issue, or is it just another chapter in the age-old story of men versus women? Is
this truly a deal breaker for our faith, or is it more of a prideful stance—one that even Paul, often
cited for limiting women, didn’t fully adhere to?
Is the debate over women’s voices in the church really about faithfulness to Scripture, or is it a
continuation of human divisions that seek to limit rather than expand the work of God? Could it
be that arguments like this, which sidetrack us from the true essence of the Gospel, serve more
as a deterrent than an attraction? The Gospel’s premise is to draw people closer to Christ, not
push them away through unnecessary disputes that detract from the core message of love,
redemption, and salvation.
This isn’t about filling hollow minds with assumptions. It’s about reclaiming the truth that has
always been there, found in the very words of scripture. No, this is not guesswork. It’s a call to
see clearly, to stop confining voices to “here” and recognize that all are called to speak and
make disciples—there, here, and everywhere.
I’m not questioning God’s directives—just our interpretation of them.
In chapter twenty of All My Knotted Up Life, under the weight of scrutiny, Beth Moore reminds us
wrong-gendered folk, “Don’t let go. Hold on, girl. Stay and watch what God will do.”
Keep that thought in mind.