Q2: You discuss adopting a cause-and-effect approach to religion, where you believed that certain actions, like anointing your daughters' bedrooms with oil and praying for their protection, would lead to God’s favor even though He had not protected you. Many of us get caught up in a type of “prosperity gospel of religion”. Do you still follow this way of thinking?
A: I no longer subscribe to the “cause-effect” or prosperity gospel mindset that once shaped my understanding of faith. This approach is not only flawed but also creates a barrier preventing you from having an intimate relationship with Christ. If you do not know the true nature of a person, how can you have an intimate relationship with them?
The Pit of Prosperity
In Chapter Eight of my book, Blaming God – A Victim’s Journey, I write: “In the pit of prosperity, our faith is circumstantially codependent. The shallowness of this jargon represents a one-sided relationship based on supply and demand. Faith is solidified when demands are met, or rather when prayers are answered. This mimicry of faith is a breeding ground for afflicted hearts desperately needing confirmation of value.”
As I highlighted in Chapter Eight, this subtle nuance to faith deceived me into thinking that what I felt was concrete. It reflected the outward expressions of Christianity so convincingly that it was difficult to pinpoint where one began and the other ended. This “health and wealth” gospel presented a path to divine favor, promising health, wealth, and protection in exchange for obedience and faith. My heart craved all of these.
These promises sound fantastic—until you become ill, struggle financially, or, like me, wake up to the realization that you had not been protected. Then you are left trying to piece together why you lost favour—or questioning if you ever had it. Surely this loss is of your own accord. Perhaps you did not have enough faith. Maybe you prayed incorrectly, or perhaps it is the sins of your father or grandfather stepping in to haunt you. However you slice it, you simply didn’t make the cut. Rejection.
But human pride resists admitting feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or being overlooked. Instead, you keep praying the same prayers, doing the “right things,” and tithing the exact amounts, while an undercurrent of resentment continues to fester. Yet life has a way of being life, and eventually, one or more of these promised positions are challenged—perhaps in a significant way. How do we then explain this God, who was supposed to keep us healthy or ensure all the bills were paid?
Suddenly, all the sacrifices we have made seem in vain. This “silent treatment” from Christ comes out of left field as far as we can see, leaving us perplexed about the value of our obedience. Surely God can see it, right? And this is where we lose hope.
The False Bargain
The creation of this superficial façade—a transaction-based religion that reduces God to a supplier of goods, rather than recognizing Him as a sovereign Lord who desires a deep, authentic relationship with His children—raises a critical question: Whose fault is it?
This form of spiritual bargaining falsely assumes authority over Christ, setting terms for our relationship with Him that ultimately deny His sovereignty and sacrifice on the cross. In my desperation to protect my daughters, I bartered with God: “If I am obedient and do all these things, will You protect them?” This was the ultimate form of self-betrayal, reducing God to a mere supplier in a relationship that should have been grounded in trust and surrender. Instead of acknowledging Christ’s true nature and sacrifice, we attempt to manipulate Him into fulfilling our desires. This mindset not only falls short of true faith but also jeopardizes our relationship with God, leading to a life of deception. True faith requires us to relinquish our demands, embrace the suffering that comes with following Christ, and trust in His sovereignty, knowing that His plans for us are far greater than anything we could ever demand. It deeply angers me that I once fell prey to this deception, and it angers me even more to see others, particularly those who have already been harmed or are vulnerable, being drawn into this false belief system.
In Chapter Eight of my book, Blaming God – A Victim’s Journey, I write: “In the pit of prosperity, our faith is circumstantially codependent. The shallowness of this jargon represents a one-sided relationship based on supply and demand. Faith is solidified when demands are met, or rather when prayers are answered. This mimicry of faith is a breeding ground for afflicted hearts desperately needing confirmation of value.”
As I highlighted in Chapter Eight, this subtle nuance to faith deceived me into thinking that what I felt was concrete. It reflected the outward expressions of Christianity so convincingly that it was difficult to pinpoint where one began and the other ended. This “health and wealth” gospel presented a path to divine favor, promising health, wealth, and protection in exchange for obedience and faith. My heart craved all of these.
These promises sound fantastic—until you become ill, struggle financially, or, like me, wake up to the realization that you had not been protected. Then you are left trying to piece together why you lost favour—or questioning if you ever had it. Surely this loss is of your own accord. Perhaps you did not have enough faith. Maybe you prayed incorrectly, or perhaps it is the sins of your father or grandfather stepping in to haunt you. However you slice it, you simply didn’t make the cut. Rejection.
But human pride resists admitting feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or being overlooked. Instead, you keep praying the same prayers, doing the “right things,” and tithing the exact amounts, while an undercurrent of resentment continues to fester. Yet life has a way of being life, and eventually, one or more of these promised positions are challenged—perhaps in a significant way. How do we then explain this God, who was supposed to keep us healthy or ensure all the bills were paid?
Suddenly, all the sacrifices we have made seem in vain. This “silent treatment” from Christ comes out of left field as far as we can see, leaving us perplexed about the value of our obedience. Surely God can see it, right? And this is where we lose hope.
The False Bargain
The creation of this superficial façade—a transaction-based religion that reduces God to a supplier of goods, rather than recognizing Him as a sovereign Lord who desires a deep, authentic relationship with His children—raises a critical question: Whose fault is it?
This form of spiritual bargaining falsely assumes authority over Christ, setting terms for our relationship with Him that ultimately deny His sovereignty and sacrifice on the cross. In my desperation to protect my daughters, I bartered with God: “If I am obedient and do all these things, will You protect them?” This was the ultimate form of self-betrayal, reducing God to a mere supplier in a relationship that should have been grounded in trust and surrender. Instead of acknowledging Christ’s true nature and sacrifice, we attempt to manipulate Him into fulfilling our desires. This mindset not only falls short of true faith but also jeopardizes our relationship with God, leading to a life of deception. True faith requires us to relinquish our demands, embrace the suffering that comes with following Christ, and trust in His sovereignty, knowing that His plans for us are far greater than anything we could ever demand. It deeply angers me that I once fell prey to this deception, and it angers me even more to see others, particularly those who have already been harmed or are vulnerable, being drawn into this false belief system.
The Mechanical Christian
Pastor Rick once described this mindset as being a "mechanical Christian," which is an apt analogy. It is similar to the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz—functioning without a heart, going through the motions, and expecting specific outcomes in return. My faith at that time was more transactional, rooted in a bizarre conundrum where I believed my suffering was a result of some personal flaw or failure. I thought that by correcting myself, by being strictly obedient, I could somehow earn God’s protection for my children—protection that I felt was withheld from me as a child.
The Hedonistic Faith
This approach to faith is not only misguided but also a form of hedonism. It is self-serving, focused on personal happiness, and, in my case, the safety of my children. I sought protection as the ultimate goal, believing it could be achieved through religious adherence. But this is not true faith; it is a shallow and distorted version that fails to understand who God actually is.
Biblical Warnings Against False Faith
The Bible warns against such shallow faith and the dangers of false teachings. In Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” This passage highlights the importance of genuine faith and a true relationship with God, rather than a superficial, transactional one.
Pastor Rick once described this mindset as being a "mechanical Christian," which is an apt analogy. It is similar to the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz—functioning without a heart, going through the motions, and expecting specific outcomes in return. My faith at that time was more transactional, rooted in a bizarre conundrum where I believed my suffering was a result of some personal flaw or failure. I thought that by correcting myself, by being strictly obedient, I could somehow earn God’s protection for my children—protection that I felt was withheld from me as a child.
The Hedonistic Faith
This approach to faith is not only misguided but also a form of hedonism. It is self-serving, focused on personal happiness, and, in my case, the safety of my children. I sought protection as the ultimate goal, believing it could be achieved through religious adherence. But this is not true faith; it is a shallow and distorted version that fails to understand who God actually is.
Biblical Warnings Against False Faith
The Bible warns against such shallow faith and the dangers of false teachings. In Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” This passage highlights the importance of genuine faith and a true relationship with God, rather than a superficial, transactional one.
The Role of Suffering in True Faith
Furthermore, the prosperity gospel fails to recognize that suffering is an integral part of the Christian experience. Paul writes in Romans 5:3-5, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” True faith is not about avoiding suffering or making deals with God to escape it; it is about enduring through suffering and growing in our relationship with Christ as a result. However, sometimes in desperation and weariness, our humanity becomes tapped out, and the prospect of more suffering—whether to God’s glory or not—is something we just want to reject.
The Danger of a Self-Serving God
I recently had an in-depth discussion with my youngest daughter about the dangers of creating a self-serving version of God. I compared it to God gifting me a Lamborghini, and me rejecting it because it wasn’t the color I wanted. In my mind, I had requested a red Lamborghini, and when it arrived in yellow, I failed to see the true value of the gift. This immature mindset reflects the broader issue of trying to dictate terms to God, rather than accepting His will with gratitude and trust. We are blind to the gifts we actually receive because we can only see those reflecting the identical request we had made. Any deviation of the gift is lost in translation. It simply isn’t what we asked God for; He changed the terms.
The Deception of Moral Superiority
The prosperity gospel is a dangerous deception, leading many to live lives disconnected from the true God of the Bible. It promotes a false sense of moral superiority, where we present our suffering as servitude to God, expecting payment on demand. But this is not the faith that Jesus calls us to. In Matthew 16:24-26, Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” This passage directly contradicts the prosperity gospel, reminding us that true discipleship involves self-denial and the willingness to suffer for Christ.
Moving Toward Authentic Faith
My journey has taken me from this false hope to a place of authentic, trusting faith. I now understand that God’s protection and blessings are not something to be earned or bargained for but are a part of His sovereign will, which includes suffering as a way to draw us closer to Him. I regret it took the suffering of my daughters to open my eyes to this. But who can know the ways of God? Faith is not about demanding that God supply our needs on our terms; it is about surrendering to His will, trusting in His goodness, and accepting that we are called to share in Christ’s sufferings.
Furthermore, the prosperity gospel fails to recognize that suffering is an integral part of the Christian experience. Paul writes in Romans 5:3-5, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” True faith is not about avoiding suffering or making deals with God to escape it; it is about enduring through suffering and growing in our relationship with Christ as a result. However, sometimes in desperation and weariness, our humanity becomes tapped out, and the prospect of more suffering—whether to God’s glory or not—is something we just want to reject.
The Danger of a Self-Serving God
I recently had an in-depth discussion with my youngest daughter about the dangers of creating a self-serving version of God. I compared it to God gifting me a Lamborghini, and me rejecting it because it wasn’t the color I wanted. In my mind, I had requested a red Lamborghini, and when it arrived in yellow, I failed to see the true value of the gift. This immature mindset reflects the broader issue of trying to dictate terms to God, rather than accepting His will with gratitude and trust. We are blind to the gifts we actually receive because we can only see those reflecting the identical request we had made. Any deviation of the gift is lost in translation. It simply isn’t what we asked God for; He changed the terms.
The Deception of Moral Superiority
The prosperity gospel is a dangerous deception, leading many to live lives disconnected from the true God of the Bible. It promotes a false sense of moral superiority, where we present our suffering as servitude to God, expecting payment on demand. But this is not the faith that Jesus calls us to. In Matthew 16:24-26, Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” This passage directly contradicts the prosperity gospel, reminding us that true discipleship involves self-denial and the willingness to suffer for Christ.
Moving Toward Authentic Faith
My journey has taken me from this false hope to a place of authentic, trusting faith. I now understand that God’s protection and blessings are not something to be earned or bargained for but are a part of His sovereign will, which includes suffering as a way to draw us closer to Him. I regret it took the suffering of my daughters to open my eyes to this. But who can know the ways of God? Faith is not about demanding that God supply our needs on our terms; it is about surrendering to His will, trusting in His goodness, and accepting that we are called to share in Christ’s sufferings.